I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
