420 ftw
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Enjoy the penises
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
