yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
