i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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