Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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