The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
