3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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