i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
