I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
