Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
