you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
