just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
