Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
