Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Church boner. Awkwardddd
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
