you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
