I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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