You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
