If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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