Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize