he shaved USA in his pubs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
