I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
