She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
