yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
