just tell him i said nine months
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
