My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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