omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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