i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
