Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
