Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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