used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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