Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
