I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
