WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
