If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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