Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.