Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.