i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...