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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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• (631): View more from New York

  I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  you have failed as an in class drinking partner.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

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• (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly

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• (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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