I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
