Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer. http://tfl.nu/7uxe

Replies (16) Good night (6227) Bad night (649)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now. http://tfl.nu/1nlv

Replies (28) Good night (1477) Bad night (5556)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

(1-813): View more from Florida

Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q

Replies (90) Good night (8162) Bad night (1805)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now" http://tfl.nu/0x96

Replies (12) Good night (4008) Bad night (1227)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9

Replies (13) Good night (3079) Bad night (1950)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too. http://tfl.nu/5j5p

Replies (19) Good night (1651) Bad night (3022)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Hopefully she would park on my face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there. (1-919): Hopefully she would park on my face. http://tfl.nu/4722

Replies (21) Good night (6445) Bad night (1120)
Favorite
(979): View more from Texas

Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74

Replies (5) Good night (2948) Bad night (941)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures. http://tfl.nu/miux

Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (2010)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

What kind of balloon animal was it?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1

Replies (12) Good night (2101) Bad night (643)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober http://tfl.nu/ijy4

Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (582)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo

Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (927)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx

Replies (1) Good night (1077) Bad night (733)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot. http://tfl.nu/46g7

Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (378)
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you" http://tfl.nu/m5ga

Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (553)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard