Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?