Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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