nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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