I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
