Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
