Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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