It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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