That's when you crack a 10am beer
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
