i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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