He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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