Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
