he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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