It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
