im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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