Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
