I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize