i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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