oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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