Where are you?
In a non slutty way
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
