none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Having a random hookup so left but love u
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
