porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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