I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
