dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
