At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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