is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
