i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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