$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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