i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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