He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
