why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
