R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
