I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
