Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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