I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
