I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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