i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
