listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
