your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
