Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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